The Artist vs. The Realist & The Consumer

I miss the artist in me. 2012 Justin, who just wanted to create. Sharing and views and monetary value were secondary. Like they should be with what I was creating. The act of creating and storytelling was so enjoyable. I truly lost myself in it…hours. Days! What happened to The Artist? I think I know. The Analyst, The Realist killed him. I over-indexed on growing up, and got “too serious” and killed that part of me. Permanently? I hope not. Truly. I hope not. And I don’t think I did. The Artist has come back in small ways throughout the years. Tiny glimpses. He’s still there. But how do I bring him back? (I picked up my phone and checked social media and then realized…) Another killer of The Artist has been The Consumer. He sits on the couch and consumes content because it’s so easy now – Instagram, YouTube, Netflix. The 2012 Artist didn’t have as much of a problem with these easy temptations and cheap dopamine hits that made the current guy so lazy. So, we’ve discovered The Realist and The Consumer are behind the downfall of The Artist. At least we know who the villains are. They’ve been lurking for so long. So discreetly. They took over slowly. They promised security and (cheap) joy. And I let them in. I let them in slowly, with no resistance. They promised virtue, but had a secret agenda. One that would slowly disarm me for over a decade. One that would get me addicted to cheap joys and force me into giving into my lowest-level temptations. Again, that’s all on me. I’m my own worst enemy. Now it seems I have to battle against myself to reclaim the life I want. War! It might take just as long, and as slowly, to defeat The Realist and The Consumer in order to truly revive The Artist. (I’m trying to be the hero in my own story, and right now this couch-potato version of me is boring as hell.) Unfortunately, The Artist might have to start from scratch – be born again. I need to give him (myself) the time and patience to regrow this persona. It would be naive to assume this transition back to The Artist will be easy and not without its own trials and tribulations. Explore yourself again and re-visit what you want. Make sure it’s worth your relentless pursuit. Because you will have to be relentless to make it happen. And perhaps The Artist comes back in a different medium – this medium. The written word. It’s novel in today’s age of reels and feeds. Plus, this feels more pure. It can’t be photoshopped. You read the words and create your own image in your own mind. Perhaps this is the way. Perhaps.